International Men’s Day: Why Letting Men Be Human Could Save Lives
Today is International Men’s Day - a moment to celebrate the men and boys in our lives - but also to acknowledge the pressures they carry and may be too afraid to talk about.
For generations, men have been taught to hold back emotion, to stay composed, to cope alone. Many grow up hearing the same messages on loop: ‘Man Up.’ ‘Boys Don’t cry.’ ‘Get on with it.’
The impact of these dangerous beliefs that have been ingrained in our men is all around us.
Sending a card can be a great way for men to check in on one another.
The Cost of Not Feeling Safe to Feel
When men don’t feel they can show their emotions, they often don’t talk about what’s really going on underneath. They might laugh things off, use humour as a shield, or carry on as if everything is fine.
But inside, they may be struggling.
And sometimes, that struggle becomes deadly.
The statistics are heartbreaking:
Around 75% of all deaths by suicide are men.
Suicide remains the leading cause of death for men under 50 in the UK.
In 2023, the suicide rate for men in England and Wales was 17.4 deaths per 100,000, compared with 5.7 for women.
The most recent UK mental health survey found that 6.9% of men reported having attempted suicide at some point in their lives.
These numbers aren’t just stats - they are brothers, partners, dads, friends, colleagues. They’re the ones who just got one with it without mentioning their struggles as they didn’t want to be a burden. They’re the men who didn’t feel they were allowed to say, ‘I’m not ok.’
When We Tell Men to Be Strong, They Hear: Don’t Be Human
Wanting to be strong isn’t the problem.
It’s the version of ‘strength’ society has handed to men - one that leaves no room for softness, sadness, fear, or overwhelm.
When men believe they must always be in control, they often face:
Isolation, even when surrounded by people
Shame about feeling low or anxious
Fear of being judged for opening up
Pressure to keep everyone else afloat
It’s not that men don’t feel deeply. It’s that they were never shown how to share those feelings safely.
The Story at the Heart of Days Like This
Behind movements like International Men’s Day are the stories - the ones families carry forever. Stories of men who were loved, needed, funny, complicated, brilliant… but who didn’t feel able to show the weight they were carrying until it was too late.
If we want the next generation of boys to grow into men who express emotion freely, we have to change the environment they grow up in. And it starts with us - the people who love them.
How We Can Support the Men in Our Lives
Changing the culture doesn’t require grand gestures. It starts in the everyday moments, in the relationships we’re already part of.
Here are small but powerful ways we can make a difference:
1. Normalise asking twice
The first ‘Are you ok?’ often gets a quick ‘Yeah, I’m fine.’
The second one - gently asked - sometimes opens the door.
2. Praise emotional honesty
And never tell our boys not to cry!
3. Celebrate the men who show up with heart
Kind men, present men, emotionally available men - these are the role models the world needs. Tell them they matter.
4. Notice subtle changes
A man withdrawing, drinking more, losing enthusiasm, or becoming easily overwhelmed may be struggling silently. Compassion goes a long way.
5. Give them permission to be human
Remind the men you love that feeling is not a flaw - it’s proof they’re alive, connected, and brave.
A Day That Matters More Than We Know
International Men’s Day shouldn’t be a token moment. It’s a reminder that men deserve spaces where they don't have to pretend. Spaces where emotion is welcomed. Where their inner worlds are taken seriously. Where they truly know that showing vulnerability is a sign of courage, not weakness.
Because when men feel safe being themselves, lives are saved.
And when boys grow up seeing men who cry, talk, and reach out, the world becomes gentler for everyone.
